a jaunt to my past gives thrive for my voyage to present

I'm weak I thought im strong... but was wrong.

I'm still the old person... whose weak when it comes to love...

just a while ago i kept askin myself... what if he found another girl.. in a week or two??

... god!! it will tear me into pieces!!! thinking his found new love in each others arms.. waaaa!!!! it hurts!!! superb!!

I know that time will come it will happen... but of course, what would you expect? I love him... maybe i just need time to absorb those consequences... im in pain.. im broke.. im empty.. im incomplete.. bsta masakit..

I have to let go of him...hayz...this is the hardest part wherein you let go of someone you love..waaaaa mushy! wala ng pakealaman!! nalulungkot ako!!! naiiyak ako!i know this is my fault pero we have to do thisndi lng because of me...but because of us...i missed our kulitan... hay sobra!!!i dnt know how to go on without you....i just hope dat you will understand mei love u very dearly..pero parang ok lng ata sau...hayz.i wanna go home.. where my heart belongsi wanna cry!!!i wanna run!!!it breaks my heart into pieces!!!this is too much pain!!!insanity kills me!!a very very sad decision that i have to face...hayz!! too hard to be brave!!God i miss him so much..

did he already read my e-mail?i think he already did..but what's going on?did he even mind to ask me?did he mind to ask me why?can't he just tell me that he's willing to take risk?anyways, what will I expect?none...how sad...I can't even do anything about it...oh gawd, i think im gonna cry...*sigh* I think i don't wanna fall out of love again.enough...huhu... can't take this anymore...I don't wanna get hurt again... it's always like this...but no...It's really hard to conclude that in time he will be happy with someonelse..for sure he'll meet a person whom will make him happy...and with that, ill be happy for him... *jealous*Bad trip. With all these things, it hurts that I don't have the right to let the situation change..Well...that's life.

I had it all but I let it slip away Nobody to blame… but me… It’s my fault… I find it hard to trust him… I’m afraid to gamble… I just can’t escape the pain I just saw my pain... and now I cry in the middle of the night And now I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty Another lesson I have learned… Don’t be afraid to gamble when it comes to love… Risk everything... even the relationship is clueless… Sacrifices and pain is part in the game of love… Don’t listen to other people say… Follow your heart… but leave something for yourself… If you’re happy then go! Today is important... What if tomorrow never comes??? It maybe too late for you… Enjoy the moment you’re in each others arm… My fairytale has just ended… But if we’ve given a chance to make it real… Maybe… Someday… I have no regrets of loving him… I’m so thankful his one of the beautiful things that happened to me… I just hope he will find somebody that deserves for his love… I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused… I know I’m unfair… I love you… but my love is not enough to make our fairytale real… I wanted you to be happy… Happy but not with me… You know my hang ups in life… And I don’t want you to suffer those hang ups… We just don’t know… time will come for us… And that time everything is right… We could both fight hurdles… It’s just our love takes time… I wanna run to you… I wanna hug you for the last time… I want to kiss you… I missed our tripping … Your sweetness… And now those are just memories to reminisce and treasure I know this is the priced I have to pay… The truth I don’t know how to start a new beginning I don’t know how to stop my soul in believingI take the moment of disaster…